Passive Aggressiveness

I read this post and was like "Cool! Someone says something relevent and interesting about something I care about!"
And then I thought "Wait, there's something wrong. Not in the writing, but the attitude."
Then I remembered what happened in school today.
-
I'm in Digital Video Production (AKA DVP). It's a class for more popular people to socialize, and its not hard to get a good grade. You're basically given free reign and a due date. Silent film. Film trailer.
Music video.
At first, I had a brilliant plan. It involved a banana costume and everything. (Yes, I had a good reason). It was going to be splendid, and then...well, I couldn't get a banana costume. And the gorilla costume had disappeared from my acquaintance's house.
I struggled for days trying to come up with a new idea, or even trying to film something. I was a nervous wreck, almost crying almost 9/10 minutes in that class.
The kids in that class are not mean. They might be popular or talk about things I don't know about, but they aren't mean. A few of them are exceptionally nice.
They offered to help me, and I sorta shook my head and stared at the ground and avoided eye contact. They wanted to help, but I didn't know how to let them help me. I didn't know what to do at all, and I felt stupid with them in front of me without me being able to do anything. I was the most passive aggressive person ever.
Now, these people are nice, but they aren't the type that try to make EVERYDAY FUN AND EXCITING AND OH MY GOD. They aren't the type my group of friends (hahahah jk I mean the few diaspora I have out there) would ever really associate with. These people go to parties and probably drink and etc etc. I don't judge, but I didn't expect them to be so not-judgey. I haven't gone out of my way to do something for them and they haven't told me any exceptional secrets. They've just kinda accepted me and helped me with some of my problems.
That said, I'm not in their social group and I don't gossip with them and etc etc. But, honestly, the people I associate with (or in an imaginary world, would associate with) wouldn't give a rat's ass about me in this situation. They would absorbed in their own lives and that of their close friends and don't talk to anybody else. They only talks to what interests them.
So when I felt that passive-aggressiveness hit me over and over this week, I wasn't pinholed by the people around me. They implicitly tolerated and accepted me for it, and helped me get out of that mindset so I could change my song and get over my fear to do something else. Without that support, I wouldn't have been able to do it. I would have been stuck in the stream of worry and anxiety and helplessness. It took me four days to get to that point, but the point is I got to that point when, in another situation or class (I can think of Chemistry Honors sophomore year when I say this), I would never have gotten out dignified. I can't predict that this will go smoothly or the filming this weekend will work out, but I'll do it (with God's will). And that's a hell of a lot more than what I thought yesterday.
So the question isn't if someone who feels passive aggressiveness WANTS to do it. They want it just as badly as anyone, and given free reign, would climb over Hell to get it. They just don't believe its worth it, or they're worth it. They don't believe that they should feel a certain way or should do a certain thing. They think their own beliefs and desires are worthless. And the only way to help them out of it is to help them remember and remind them that they aren't. Does that make sense?
One of the most popular girls in the senior class helped remind me of that when, in the beginning of the semester, nobody else did. I'm grateful for that.
-
So if someone's feeling like that? The best thing you can do for them is not condescendingly remind them that it isn't true, that it's okay to screw up and change things. It's okay to tell Mr. Russo that you need help and you don't know what to do. That it's okay.
Really.