Goals

I want to write more. More nonfiction and more fictionfiction. I want to write fiction stories and get my novel on the road, and I want to write articles about things I'm interested in.
I want to exercise more, become fast and strong and undeniably, skinnier. I want to be one of those girls who can walk around in their body without feeling inadequate or bad about themselves, to be able to run without gasping for air. I want to be able to demand my body to do things I never would have done before. I want to be physically strong.
I want to read more, and of alot of different things. Last year was a year of YA fiction, of reading what was in front of me at the library and returning alot of books unread, of keeping up with loved series instead of finding new things to read. This year is going to be different. I'm going to read more non-fiction, but also only reading things I want to read instead of reading things I think I should read. My interests never solely revolved around the books people talked the most about. I should have known better.
I want to know more. About the world and my peers, and how it all works. I want to be able to keep exploring instead of staying in my comfortable little bubble, typing away as I waste my days obsessing over grades and the like.
I want to do more, do more with my friends and make friends. I want to have more of those friendships where you really know someone, where you can trust them with an idea without worrying about tarnishing the image of yourself in their head. I want to practice more, be able to do things more.
I want to BE someone, I want to love and love deeply. I don't want to waste my time and days watching things in order to satisfy that hungry drive in me. I love Tumblr, but it, along with a combination of other factors during sophomore year, really inhibited my talented and ambition. I won't let that happen anymore. Tumblr and Twitter are the places for expression, not placacy. I should have learned that awhile ago, Tumblr is most boring when used that way. I would know.
I want to be myself, without anything stopping me anymore. That's going to be the hardest one. I know that now, as typing those words make me anxious when I can't really envision myself doing that. What will that mean? What kind of person will I seem to be? What really am I? I'm fairly good at disgusing myself, playing roles that aren't really me in public. I wonder what I'll become. What I'll make myself be when I finally stop hiding. I have no idea, but the idea scares the crap out of me, but I suppose that's good. Being scared means you're doing something uncomfortable, and being uncomfortable pushes you in directions you've never been before. Hopefully, I'm in the right direction. I hope my anxiety is wrong.
Sayanora guys.