Thoughts

So after that rather dramatic last post, I have arisen from the ashes. JK, but I'm okay now. I figured it out, or at least I'm trying to and getting somewhere, so that's good.
I guess you're wondering what happened, but there's really no explaining it in cold, logical terms. I gave that up on this blog after the third post. I guess what happened was that things built up and I didn't trust anyone to let them out to and anxiety built and then bam-a stupid comment unravels my the pounding insecurity. So yeah.
I don't know what to say, and I'm not going to make this deep or anything. I just thought you would like to know that things are sorta getting better now. I don't know though, but I think they are.
I'm more honest with my friends now and I'm trying not to give a shit about what I don't have and just establish what I do have and all that shnazz. That's more important in the end.
(The ironic moment when one of my favorite people makes a video about friendship the day I make this post)
I should talk about books, but I feel like that's a safe topic. It's easy to talk about books and films and school all day without knowing a person really well. I think I learned that the hard way.
That's the weird thing about this blog. It's easy for me to spill out what took me ages in in real life to hint at, let alone say out loud. Maybe I'm too socially awkward, but writing this is alot more bleeding than actual "coming up with ideas and writing about it." I don't know, I'm weird, but I'm sort of glad I found this in the first place. Too bad I have shitty grammar.
By the way, I need new music. Soon.

(Also, my friend unironically sent me the following on Facebook while this was all happening. It was more interesting than I thought, but I've heard this message before, so I mean not alot new. Still worth watching.