Loneliness

I think I really realized why I write these posts. Why I'm drawn here even though most of my peers only write posts every couple of days.
I feel lonely.
I'm separated from the rest of the world, even though thats not true considering the laptop in my hands and my sister in the room next door. I shouldn't be alone. But I feel like it.
I feel like there's a whole world going on there, and tons of things I should be doing that I'm not, so I'm wasting my time sitting around her not making the most out of anything. That's not to say I'm not thankful for the comfortable upper-middle class life I have or for the lack of drama (for the most part) in my life, but its hours like these that I feel separate. Not good enough.
I'm bitching and whining, I know. But I'm always wasting something that I don't know how to use or don't feel like using.
I wish I could be insightful and talk about hopeful things and how the world is great, but alas, no.
Maybe one day I'll have made something of myself or have finished my novel or get accepted to a great school or god forbid, actually be able to talk to people who want to be friends with me without getting anxious and ruining it all. Maybe one day people will actually like the stuff I make instead of me just spewing out into an empty void, unheard.
Maybe one day. That's all I can hope for.
EDIT: Blablabla, typical self-obsessed crap. Gosh, I sure must like talking about myself.